Surrendering control is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My dad was a very controlling person, so as I grew older and didn’t have to deal with that anymore, I guess I just needed to be the one in control of everything. I didn’t realize this until recently, by the way, after evaluating my own life and working with my family and God in prayer to help me. It honestly never occurred to me how much control I desperately need without realizing it and yet, how much is actually out of my control.
I can’t control the actions of the people around me. I may act like I can, but I really can’t. When I try, it creates strife that God doesn’t want. I can’t control if my books sell or do well; if my audience and readership grows, or if my marketing works. I can’t control this country, or the way the election goes. I can’t control the things happening in this country that sickens me. I certainly can’t save the people in my life that I know need Jesus. I can’t control our finances or the weather or Facebook and how they’ve recently restricted my account, so I can’t do things I want to, to help my books.
The only thing I can control is myself.
The way I talk, the way I react. My anger, or my calm responses. The way I treat other people. The way I help other authors. The way I fight for a good cause. The things I do each and every day. If I put God first, or decide to do my own thing. If I follow God’s inspiration or not. If I choose to cuss when I get angry, or instead, decide to pray.
I control me.
And maybe I should focus more on trying to control myself, rather than everything around me. God is the one in control and I need to learn to submit to His authority. Because the fact is, and what I don’t think I realize subconsciously, is that He isn’t like the people in my life who have been controlling. He isn’t like my earthly father. His control is better. It’s loving and His plan and will is always for the best.
Even if I don’t see it.
There’s a song by Jeremy Camp (and a recent movie about his life, as well) that says, “I still believe in Your faithfulness. I still believe in Your Truth. I still believe in Your Holy Word. Even if I don’t see it, I still believe.”
When life feels like it’s hard, for me, it’s because I don’t have control over it and I want control. There are tons of things that happen that we have no control over, but what we can control is whether we give it over to the Lord, or not.
Whether we surrender to God, to His authority and power.
Surrendering control is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
But it’s worth it.